End of the narrative


“Goodbye.” The context of that quote is so important. Do we see each other tomorrow? Maybe “see you” would be more appropriate in that case. Are you going to be away for a month? Goodbye is ok for that kind of parting. Will I ever see you again? There is no word suitable for this farewell.

It is the end of the term. Normally this means relaxation and mental preparation for the next term — probably with good company (ie. friends) and total amnesia about school work and exams. This is certainly no different here in the US. But being an international student, there is actually a difference: People leave.

At some point in what ever social setting, you say your goodbye/see you/take care/go home and sleep man (!) and do your hugs/handshakes/necessary rituals with the people. Except this time, you are not going to meet up next weekend. You are not sharing sofa space at the house parties. You are not going to take any more embarrassing photos and tag them on Facebook. You are not going to hear each others voices…

For some people here, the USA narrative is now over after the fall term and they have to go home and get on with their lives. One departs with them on the street with a hug and best wishes for the future but really there is no word to describe this departure. Because even though intentions about contact updates are always good, deep down the reality lurks and tells you that this could be the last goodbye ever. The brain just cannot comprehend the fact.

It is, in a way, very disillusioning. Traveling half-way around the world and living and getting involved with people is something quite extraordinary and suddenly, everything is gone. Maybe gone for good. I will not moan about it just to explain my point. But I am frustrated, that I cannot justly express this emotion in writing. I know I will face the same anxiety sometime in the (distant) future and the thought is very difficult for me to cope with.

For now, I will just enjoy still being around here and not think of this until the last minute. Denial is good.

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One response to “End of the narrative”

  1. So very true. I believe you caputered a part of the essence of an exchange very good. Alas, all things have an end….